I am now in the middle of chapter 11 ("Signing") and still really enjoying it! I like the evolution and transformation of Donna's character growing up from the immature high schooler to a young adult.  I like the way you describe her internal world; it's so obvious that things are changing for her and new ideas beginning to take shape, but even she is a little unsure of exactly what form her new views, new life etc will take, so while the change itself is imminent and clear, it's also a bit nebulous and unclear, and you do a good job of conveying her own confusion with what direction she sees her life going.  Especially the way she questions the lifestyle she has adopted, the agenda of the "revolutionaries," reflects on the morbidity of the music icons succumbing to their self-inflicted doom - it's like she wants to be part of the change and the revolution, but she herself is a bit skeptical of it, a bit wary of whether that is really what is taking place or not.  

It's neat, and again, I personally can relate to it so much, because when I lived in Berkeley & Oakland, I too was doing a lot of partying and experimental behavior, and for a long time I enjoyed telling myself I was adventurous, experimental, a free spirit, etc. I believed I was growing and evolving.  But then there were times I'd have thoughts creep in that would question that ideology and challenge it, and would ask myself was I not just being self indulgent, and perhaps self destructive?   So I think you do a really good job of conveying that inner conflict and confusion for Donna.

I also have been in similar sort of "love triangle" situations in the past where drugs and alcohol were involved, and nothing felt off limits, and if there were two guys I was hanging with, I didn't have to choose between the two, but could have them both treat me like a queen (how Donna likes Dave and Shell) as a "package deal").  I appreciate how you touch on this without depicting Donna as weak, and without making it about her objectification or exploitation.  Rather, it being HER choice to engage with them in this way, and it being a mark of sexual empowerment.  I especially like the part at the top of page 100, where it says it "must have maant that she was very special." And talks about her bed pampering her and also being her theater to perform in. I often felt this way in my own life, that the indulgences I was making in my romantic/sexual life were MY choice, and I was choosing to be pampered, loved, adored, and enjoyed being the star of the show.  Looking back, there was definitely a lot of immaturity and hedonism involved in my behavior and lifestyle, but I don't regret any of it, and I think they were important experiences to have.  There was just something really relatable there for me that I was impressed you were able to capture and convey.  

I enjoyed the return to Sally's character and the sequence of events that leads her to enlisting as a military nurse.  That whole section was very auspicious, like there was something propelling her life to that point (destiny, fate?).  The whole scene with her parents walking in on her & Dawn, the sense of mortification and shame that produces this need to escape; then slipping out the window was like (for me) sort of symbolic as her going through a portal of sorts to another world/reality.  When she jumped out the window, "into the cool of the quiet backyard," I felt intuitively that something big was going to change for her.  I didn't know what, but it was like something had shifted and there was this propulsion I could feel, the conflict inside of her, the need for something new/different, the need to escape or be hidden/saved from having to face her parents, and therefore the reality of her sexuality and her failing grades.  I LOVE all of your descriptions of the various things happening around her as she walks through the neighborhoods.  Really great descriptive language and imagery on pages 114-116.  All of it just so perfectly depicts the urban scene, but also reflects her internal world.  And just the moments leading up to her bumping into the Army Sergeant, up until the moment she meets him, I thought all of that was really well done.  In that moment he almost seems like a mythical character, like some fairy godfather of sorts who has come to rescue her and pluck her from her miserable situation and give her an out.  It's perfect. Wherever someone may fall ideologically in terms of the military, the war, etc, in that moment, on a personal level, it just seems so clearly the right choice for her to get out of the rut she's in and move forward with her life.

I hope that was not too convoluted and made sense! Basically I just thought that whole section was really well done, and had a masterful way of pulling the reader along on Sally's journey.

 I have to say, the paragraphs on pages 121-122 are some of the best writing of the book so far, in my opinion.  You are describing the protest scene, the "liquid legions of marching revolutionaries." I love "drift-netting the protean soul" - that's a great line! And the paragraphs that follow do a beautiful job of capturing not only the physical scene and surroundings, but also the feelings, moods and emotions of the time. Really well done!